“Be"
June 26th, 2021
"Xxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxx." A phrase I had gotten all too familiar with as I prepared myself for the leap from a military space to a creative space.
What I hadn't expected, was how "Xxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxx." would entrench itself into my ego, my personality, and my being as a result of this change.
Without a "standard job" I questioned who I was, what my worth was, and if I deserved to be happy just existing instead of actively contributing to society.
Through the quiet months of the pandemic, tucked away at a desk in the corner of my bedroom, I tried to justify my existence by cramming my days with online classes, youtube tutorials, and self expressions of art.
But it was never enough. It was viciously, never enough. I criticized myself so intensely because I was raised in a society where the people who didn't slave away at work, were lazy, those who were poor, lacked creativity, and those who enjoyed time off for themselves were selfish.
After months of cursing the pandemic, cursing my lack of creativity, and cursing my inability to handcuff myself to a mind-numbing 9-5, I realized that the "problem" was ALL in my outlook, accepted beliefs, and acceptance of "Xxxxxxxx Xxxxxxxx."
I had somehow been led to believe that I wasn't worthy of existing unless I had a job. And, of course, that I wasn't worthy of a job unless I "did my time" in a company or organization that didn't inspire me to live more fully first, before being "allowed" to live how I wanted.
And the irony is, of course, had it not been for the pandemic, had it not been for the hundreds of hours I spent in my apartment in self-reflection, I would have never came to the realization that I don't have to DO ANYTHING to be worthy of existence. It wasn't until I stopped trying to BE ANYTHING that I was finally able to step closer to being exactly what I was meant to be.
That's a long winded way of saying:
1. Don't let Corporate America dictate your self worth.
2. Love and forgive yourself through your distancing from "Imposter Syndrome."
3. And, I decided to move to Brooklyn and would love to connect with my fellow creatives in the city.
I did slightly edit the photo, but the words above are unedited.
#impostersyndrome #determinism #alignyourself
1. Don't let Corporate America dictate your self worth.
2. Love and forgive yourself through your distancing from "Imposter Syndrome."
3. And, I decided to move to Brooklyn and would love to connect with my fellow creatives in the city.
I did slightly edit the photo, but the words above are unedited.
#impostersyndrome #determinism #alignyourself
In the beginning there was energy. But there was always energy, except for when there wasn’t. This energy became a single celled organism, which eventually became flowers, or mushrooms. And those spores led to life returning to land from the ocean, which led to humans. Who, may or may not, have the super power of consciousness. Eventually, their ability will improve enough until everything returns to energy, and the universe starts over.
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